#shit I love them so fucking much I wanna cry
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Tara getting off to y/n’s deep sleepy voice 😮💨
You were talking away with Tara on the other line, you were tired from today, and Your voice sent shivers up
Tara’s spine the way your voice was deep and raspy turned her on even more
Her small hand slides down in her panties, her wetness was enough to gather as she began to slowly run her clit in tight circular motions her breathing sounded heavy.
“Tara Baby are you alright?” You asked Tara Swear that she could have came right then and there by that cute little pet name.
“Yeah- shit I’m fine baby” The sound of her broken voice sparked an interest in you. But of course you weren’t stupid.
Never that no.
You had Decided to tease her other wise and Help her get off to your just talking what kind of Partner would you be if you let her get off alone.
“Mmm I wish you were here with me right now, I miss you so much Love, I just wanna kiss you so badly right now Mamas” Tara lets out a little cry.
Her fingers moved in sync, hitting the spot she so deliberately craved to touch over and over again.
“Fuck, how I wish I could just fuck your right now. To have you crying my name and scratching my back” You chuckled. Tara cries and Moans were getting louder by now Tara already knew you had known.
“Are toy close sweetie?” You asked.
“Fuck yes, yes I am I’m gonna cum so fucking hard Baby” Tara’s fingers moved more quickly then before.
“C’mon cum for me baby let it all out for me” Tara’s moans became unbearable she couldn’t even hide them any more as she began to cum hard around her fingers.
“Shit! Shit! Fuck Y/n Yes!” You on the other hand were down right satisfied.
“Good Girl”.
#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jennaortegaxreader#jennaortegaxg!preader#jenna ortega smut#tara carpenter x reader#jenna ortega x y/n
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unhinged regulus (my fave)
hey hello i thought i'd quickly talk about regulus in my lotss fic... i feel like people are gonna have problems with him—so here's some musings/ramblings etc!
so i really enjoy the idea of exploring human nature, and to me this means a flawed character. in lotss regulus is not a good person. there's good in him, sure, but on the whole he's morally corrupt and has a detrimental fuck-it-we-ball attitude. he relishes in destruction and indulges in his volatility. like he persuaded sirius to literally bind them together with a potentially fatal and 100% illegal spell at ten fucking years old, because he was like whelp. i'm gonna miss you when you go to highschool. and he's manipulative as shit, because sirius was like oh yeah, horcruxes, solid plan, and then does it.
regulus joins the army, yes to protect sirius, yes so sirius doesn't have to, but he would've joined anyway. he LOVES the power it gives him. he finds murdering fun. genuinely fun. he likes to tease his victims, he likes to draw their death out, he thinks it's hilarious when they cry and beg. and sure, okay, these are unambiuously bad people, veela traffickers etc, reg doesn't feel this way when he's on the battlefield and it's basically soldiers just like him. but still, it does take a certain character to not only carry out, but relish in murder.
i took a lot of inspiration for his and General Riddle's relationship from Silko and Jinx (from Arcane). i thought that dynamic was the best ever, like here are two hurt, damaged, chaotic and morally deranged people. they enable each other, they care for each other (genuinely). i'm obsessed with Arcane so think about it way too much, but Silko's last words to Jinx "you're perfect" make me wanna scream. because to him she is. that's what a daughter is to a father—a true father. flawed and tainted and morally ugly, blood all over her hands—but she is still his daughter, he forgives her, he loves her. despite, because of, regardless.
anyway my whole point with this ramble—i feel like lots of marauders fics ive read ultimately try and either validate, justify or redeem a character's unjust actions or corrupt nature. that's totally valid obviously, but that's not what i've done in lotss. regulus never regrets his behaviour, even when it ends up costing him someone he really, really loves. even then he continues to do it, he continues to enjoy it. he never has any big revelation and goes fuck. i messed up.
and general riddle—we've seen him manipulate, coerce and trap nagini. so we're against him. but then we see him from regulus' pov—who admires and trusts him—and he seems like a nice guy. so then we're like okay, is he a dick or is he nice? but isn't everyone both sides of that coin?
i really tried to show that while, on the whole, he's an upstanding leader, fighting for good causes (and is non-discriminative: there's a vast and inclusive representation of genders and races in the death eater army, something which is notably absent from the ministry-affiliated order and bmaf) even then riddle's hungry for more power. he wants to experiment and test the limits of his magic. my whole moral of the story thing with lotss is that power corrupts. there is NO GOOD SIDE. i'll say it again: no one wins in war.
like that line in hotd, where alicent says wtf are we even fighting for anymore? and rhaenyra is like lol idk. i was reading about the vietnam war recently: america and australia sent all those men in, then realised they were being fucking decimated and were like, oh fuck, and pulled them out again. thousands dead. literally for fucking what. anyway, all that to say: i'm not trying to use a character (regulus) who is generally well-liked by the fandom in order to try and justify or advocate for violence. his behaviour is just me experimenting with another way trauma can play out, like don't forget the circumstances of his birth, or the fact that he had to watch sirius being abused. sirius' magic was tested by orion to the point where he almost died multiple times. it effected sirius one way, it effected regulus another.
anyway! it's a story loves, not meant to be serious xo as i said before, take it all with a pinch of salt. and if you happen to watch arcane, tell me so we can try about it together!
#okay so this is long but i feel it's sorta necessary#like regulus is problematic as shit#that guy is messed the fuck up#defs should NOT be allowed to carry about knives lol#anyway anyway#i'm happy to chat about it if you're iffy with him#marauders fic#lotss#marauders#fic update#marauders era#last of the summer sun#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#remus lupin#regulus black
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“My darling, I did not train my monster to protect you because I thought you could not live without me. I trained that monster because I cannot live without you”
well what if I kill myself mhm? what if laszlo’s love for Nadja is what kills me? Destroys me?
#im dead#I died dead#shit I love them so fucking much I wanna cry#he’s so passionate about his wife#like man he loves her to bits#they’re soulmates#excuse me I’m gonna cry#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nadja of antipaxos#laszlo cravensworth#laszlo x nadja#nadja x laszlo
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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(Clips from ep5, ep9, and ep16. Video length 4 minutes 4 seconds)
Originally was gonna just clip ep16 and the start of 5 but then I remembered how they were all being very sweet in their own ways when, you know. Their friendship makes me ill
#frost is like 'i gotta comfort my friend. people say nice words and hug and shit right?'#kremy is just like 'ive got to make a plan about this. solution finding mode activated'#and Gideon is like 'no plans im killing'#i can relate to all of those#in fact my way of trying to comfort people is basically in that order#you want tea??? do you want nice words??? can i help you???? can i kill for you????#gricko is really the heart of the group its so upsetting when he's sad and the rest of them are like. oh no#i love that guy so fucking much#video#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw spoilers#once upon a witchlight spoilers#gricko grimgrin#morning frost#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#hootsie grimgrin#in spirit#ep 9 clips werent tragic *sounding* but frost saying 'that really is quite heartbreaking' is so true#the clips at the ending make me wanna cry
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Prohibitedwish Cottagecore au
Because I'm self-indulgent like that XP
I just want my bois to be happy and carefree
Headcanon time!!!
Prismo
Scarab's neighbour
has been living in the outskirt his whole life and never went anywhere before
is curious about the outside world
his inherited his garden from his deceased friend Jake
his hat is gifted by Jake, he wears it all the time
after knowing some of Scarabs favourite fruits and veggies, he starts planting them and gifting them to him
it's rare but he sometimes gift Scarab bouquets after they are a thing
he's definitely a flower meaning guy
it took a long time for him to try planting on his friend's garden
teaches Scarab one or two things about gardening since he studies it
enjoys tea time with Scarab
secretly draws/paints
lot's of sketches and painting of Scarab in his garage
the first to confess (drunken confession)
likes to exchange books with Scarab, is intrigue of Scarab's taste in genres
adores Scarab's cooking and baking
keeps all of the sticky notes by Scarab
sunshine energy
Scarab
Prismo's neighbour
starts living outskirt for his botanic/herbology studies
likes the serenity here
has strict parents
grew up to be academic-minded because of parents
parents weren't too keen on his choice of studies so like every Asian child he has to whip up a powerpoint slideshow for them
grew up watching botanic channels, his favourite one is apparently starred by Prismo's grandpa
teaches Prismo new or better ways to tend his garden
puts sticky notes for Prismo after finding out he can't remember shit
is embarassed of receiving gifts from Prismo because he doesn't know what to gift back
Prismo's drinking buddy
helps Prismo with his garden when free
because of his upbringing of not showing vulnerability, he tends to be quite tsun and hides his true feelings xshksxh
resting bitch face
likes to talk to Prismo about different teas every tea time with him
secretly crochets
has one or two crocheted Prismo plushies
first to initiate kiss
That's about it, they probably go on foraging trips and picnics together, I just really like the idea but don't see it much for them so I gotta take actions by my own and make it myself
I would really really appreciate it if anyone wanna write fanfic about them please please please I can't do them justice aaaaaa-
#my art#digital art#i love them so much i wanna cry#fionna and cake#human scarab#scarab#scarab the god auditor#prismo#prismo the wishmaster#prohibited wish#prohibitedwish#scarab x prismo#prismo x scarab#cottagecore au#I always wanted this#fuck my digital art skills are shit compared to traditional art#lemme die
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.
#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[real talk: I’m a lesbian transmasc little enby guy. but my gender? is lesbian. it’s how I explain it. my attraction to women is a part of#my innate gender. that’s just how it is and the two things inform one another. heteronormativity is still so alive and now everyone can put#it under progressive little labels where the character is bisexual but everything that’s focused on for miles is the hetcoded shit. it’s a#cool little thing people do now. it went from when I was a kid and ‘there’s no such thing as bi you’re just confused’ to ‘everyone is bi#because it gives me points but I will never meaningfully observe the queer aspect of that identity and it can make me seem comfortable with#queer identities’. it’s lip service so much of the time. and I never ever ever say you’re only valid if you write bi characters in a#queercoded relationship. bisexuality is forever valid always even if you’ve NEVER been in a queer relationship. but this is writing and#real bisexual people (I’m not even bi I’m literally a lesbian) have experiences irl that make them feel shitty#when they see them boiled down to shallow. a lot in the same way I get upset when I see lesbian relationships brushed off or ignored in#spite of my own excitement toward the ship. MY POINT IS that lesbians are completely ignored by this point and I can say this both irl and#on here because when you live a life that excludes men from your romantic space you’re basically illegal. it drives me fucking insane. the#way anyone can make a fucking whitebread ass man on this site and their inbox will be exploding but you make a lesbian and you have to pad#quietly around because from jump you’re already worried about how people will perceive you and you KNOW they won’t be immediately welcoming.#this is an irl thing in such a big way and I’m a NEW YORKER. but the fact that this exists in the rpc? truly I miss when we just wrote and#enjoyed things and this wasn’t a cesspit of discourse instead of an actual creative community. like. I went to college to study boring#theses that couldn’t keep my attention. I slogged through litcrit theory. do I love it? yes. but some of yall really just wanna be on#debatebro YouTube and not in the actual rpc. it’s wild. everyone’s a philosopher but no one wants to meaningfully engage. and if they do#they want to in either bad faith or basically hardheaded ignorance about an issue. someone’s 2 seconds from rping destiny.#swear to fucking god if I see one person make an asm.ngold joke I will cry.]
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#its the misogyny yay#but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is#theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game#and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better#like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone#but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone#to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her#its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry#she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck#so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them#and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like#some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh#shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again#much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better#so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon#and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’#cuz whos gonna stop me
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oh ok
#succession#tomgreg#OH MY GOD THE SCENE IS THIS CLOSE AFTER?!?? i thought i had some time !!! i jqqqqqqq#man. man. mn!!!!aman!!!!man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man.#matt johnson you would love tomgreg#what the fuck is this scene though i want to die i PHYSICally want to di e Eeeeeeeeeee#he........i .........fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmmmmmmmmm#ok. okok. ok . novel tags ok i can think through my absolute fucking grief. ok so basically.#tom giving greg advice about prison. and then greg like basically begs to have tom take the rap for him. but not directly.#he can never say things directly. but tom translates. and it doesn't take him long to say fine. load me up. you piece of shit.#but he doesn't even mean the latter statement he's too sad. and he won't fight. the fight is all gone out of him.#so much for greg being expendable though huh?#look me in the eyes and tell me tom isn't in love with greg at least a little. yall telling me you'd take the rap for someone and go to jail#for them if you didn't love them? ok bestie you do you#i kind of like as well the comparison of the conversation between them and him and shiv like. it's very similar in that him and greg are#saying sentences that are parts of different conversations like him and shiv's convo ALTHOUGH it is still related bc it's to do with jail#she wouldn't even talk about that subject at all. and then it correlates to the whole. nero and sporus thing right. and the dressing up/ring#ALSO THE FACT HE DIDNT WANNA SLEEP WITH HER AND HES OUT LATE AT A DINER WITH GREG I GET IT G IS HIS MISTRESS#but anyway.#and the WAYYYYYYY greg's voice breaks and the way he looks at tom with pleading eyes and it looks like he's about to cry#that's what does it for tom i think. that's what breaks him. he can't bear the thought of greg suffering for months.#which makes me believe that that is why he was so sad earlier when greg was asking for advice. he doesn't like greg to suffer#by other hands of course. if it's by his hands that's another matter BUT THATS ANOTHER CAN OF WORMS#LIKE I KNOW ITS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE OF GREG BUT AT THE SAME TIME HES LIKE. idk early 20s. 26ish latest???#and i would be fucking terrified i'm 30 and i still don't know what the fuck is going on i don't know how i am still alive so i get it.#and if you have someone who has been taking care of you and has in the past flexed their power and money to give you food and parties#and move you up in a company and give you opportunities you most likely would never get. you kinda. latch. and fall into a pattern.#you assume he has a way out for you#has help. i mean greg probably assumed he wouldn't say yes in the first place so he kinda Has to be an asshole for any chance at all tbh.#he even said quid pro quo. but tom didn't even want anything in return. i mean idk what greg could even give him [lol] but still.
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[|87
#been burdening my friends and partner too much with bitching about life but talking abt it makes me feel better so. i’m here.#new job is awful. but in a weird way.#i’m learning things and love my coworkers and the location and clients and work itself#but my boss is. my god.#it’s a little local place owned by one woman operated from inside her extra home on her property#she runs everything#and she is nice but she is??? loud ig. abusively loud#she screams and cusses and berates and belittles everyone and like#they all think it’s silly. it’s just her personality. they laugh or shrug it off. it’s just how she is. but i can’t do it#every day i tear up or cry on the way home cus she raises her voice at me or i hear her cussing and screaming in the back about like#me fucking up. over silly things. like i took a message for her but didnt say it was urgent.#then i hear her in the back HOW COULD SHE FUCK UP LIKE THIS SHE SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT THIS IS SUCH SIMPLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER#and i just cant handle it man!!!#and she is so nice and supportive and texts me almost every night to ask how i am and if i’m okay#and like fuck dude i guess?????? but im also!!!!! not!!!!!!!!#my partner and mom both said i should quit and i think im. gonna.#the other place that wanted me is still hiring. i’m gonna talk to them monday and see if i can take that job still#but fuck dude. i dont wanna tell my boss im leaving. i dont think she’ll blow up but if she does?????#idk#i just hate that things aren’t getting better. i dunno. i just wanna cry and sleep all day#hopefully i get the other job and my boss understands. we’ll see.#thanks for reading
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happiness
5 (+1) times Gon makes sure to carry Killua.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Gon shifts him slightly, and Killua looks up with teary-filled eyes, hiccuping when Gon presses his forehead to his own.
“Don’t worry! We’ll see each other again! I’ll always come back and save you, okay?”
Gon’s lips meet his own, and Killua drowns in that happiness and sorrow.
#hxh#hunter x Hunter#Gonkillu#gon x killua#gon#killua#killua hunter x hunter#gon freecss#;windy’s stuff#ITS TIME TO DRINK GON CARRYING KI JUICE 😤😤😤😤#GON CARRYING KI MY ONE TRUE LOVE 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#KI ALWAYS LIKES GON CARRYING HIM 🥺🤲🤧#HE JUST DESERVES TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE AND WARM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲#THATS MY BABEY#Ki BEING SO HAPPY SILVA TALKED TO HIM WHEN SILVA IS A PIECE OF SHIT MAKES ME WANNA CRY#GON IS KIS KNIGHT 🤧😤😤😤😤😤#KIS TRAMUA IS IGNORED WAY TOOOO MUCH IN THE SHOW/MANGA AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR NOT HAVING GON CARRY KI WHEN HE WAS INJURED LIKE T#AND I NEEDED TO FIX THAT MY HEART HURT SO MUCH I WAS TEARING UP WRITING FUCK SO I NEEDED SOME FLUFF TO SOOTHE MY SOUL#AHHNNNNNNN KI IS SO CUTEEEEE AND TINY KITTEN 🤧🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#I THREW A TINY BIT OF KITE CARRYING KI IN THERE 🤧😤🥺 NEED A WHOLE FIC OF EVERYONE CARRYING KI#KIS THE CUTEST SLEEP KITTEN EVER HHHHHNNNNNNN#AND THEN I WAS ONCE MORE SOBBING TBH ABOUT TO CRY#I AM NEVER WRITING A FIVE ONE EVER AGAIN ITS EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH ON MEEEE OMGGGG#BUT HAPPY ENDING MY HEARTTTTT KI DESERVES THE WORLD 🤧🥺🙏🙏🙏😭😤#IM SO HAPPY IM GONNA CRY 🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲 MY HEART COULD NOT TAKE WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS THEY ARE NOW MARRIED 🤧🥺🙏
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welcome to another episode of I hate my neighbors 🫠
#rant.txt#it’s bad enough they somehow have 500 million fireworks and periodically fire them at random ass days of the year but from SONE REASON they#love this day so much and shoot so many giant ones and scare the living shit out of me and I’m sure any animal in the vicinity#and they hoot and holler about them like it’s fun and I’m just here trying to rest like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#like idc it’s a holiday they have zero consideration and ALSO it’s also like fucking dangerous????????#like these aren’t some little sparklers these are full ass giant fireworks and they’re so loud and they yell so loud#have you ever just wanted to throw a rock at someone before?#ugh I’m so annoyed bc I need to do stuff tmr and I’m not going to get a ton of sleep#I wish it rained this 4th so I could not deal with this#even then they’d still be out there tbh I wanna cry atp#like I WOULD BE THE VILLAIN HERE WHICH IS THE SAD PART#like I’d be considered the evil party pooper who isn’t being CONSIDERATE this holiday 🫠🫠🫠#they don’t stop until into the am too I’m gonna cry in bed ig
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Yesterday i left early by 45 mins and today I stayed late by 45 minutes. Balance exists in the world
#speculation nation#ue ue ue ue (sound of me crying)#Saturdays suck. & there was a weird gap in the schedule#so i stayed a half hour over. but then it was a next to new employee so i stayed even longer#didnt wanna fuck over the closing supervisor like i was fucked over last week#i was DEDICATED to making sure it wouldnt be awful for her like it was for me#bc holy shit it was baaaaad last week. worst shift ive had in a While.#this week wasnt too bad. but it got pretty busy. it's so nice outside#i brought a change of clothes tho. tank top n shorts. gonna enjoy the weather#i'll sit outside and maybe write a little. we'll see.#i drank so much tea today. i usually have like 1 drink in a shift but i had 3. chain chugging i guess#matcha. earl grey. and puerh teas. love them all tbh.#😌👍☺✌😃💪😎🤌making today a decent one
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#you guys ever just get that random urge to burst into tears over something very small#i felt stupid bc I asked a friend in a different timezone if they wanted to talk on the phone when it was like midnight there#they said they couldn’t sleep so my ass was like oh do u wanna talk then#as if that’s not the opposite of what they’re trying to do#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning#and were very sweet about it#and i’m not upset with them at all but i just got so upset with myself#like i felt stupid and selfish to ask because i know it’s really me that wants the company and it feels like i can’t talk to anyone anymore#every friend reaches a point where they get tired of me and can’t handle it anymore so they leave#and i understand! i’m a lot. even for myself#and i don’t know how to stop being unlikeable and unloveable and just shut the fuck up for oncr becsusr i always a say too much#i can never leave well enough alone#and i cry so easily now it’s annoying#even my family members have all gotten sick of me#my mom started screaming at me the other day and basically told me that I’m annoying and she dislikes me#and i couldn’t even acknowledge her for 3 days not bc i was trying to be petty but bc i could not handle seeing her#without thinking about what she said#and she’s still fucking pissed at me for the original conversation where I was asking if we could divide the cleaning in the house equally#or at least more equally. bc everything gets so messy and cluttered and it stresses me out so much#and i feel like i’m the only one cleaning up after 3 other adults who don’t give any consideration to leaving shit everywhere#and she basically told me to shut tf up and stop trying to act like i’m her parent#as if she didn’t parentify the fuck out of me as a child and use me as a therapist and tell me to be the bigger person every time my older#sister did something fucked up to me#and she- my mom- is being hella passive aggressive now and the vibes are just so toxic i feel like i can’t breathe ar home#like i just want to sleep i don’t want to be home or even conscious#i’m so tired of making myself as tiny as I can and still being made to feel like i take up too much space#emotionally and physically#i just want it to be over#and i want to tell someone but i don’t want to burden anyone or talk too much bc it’s all negative and i don’t want them to get tired of me#i finally made some friends through school and it’s fun to be in a group of people again but i’m so scared i’m going to ruin it
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